Not the good fight

Paul tells us to "fight the good fight of faith" but there's a fight that's NOT the good fight of faith but the bad fight of pride. In our lesson, gentleness was described as "the complete surrender to God's will and way in your life." Its opposite was defined as "fighting against God." Here are a few characteristics of those who lack gentleness: "They push and shove. They fear that to give in means to lose." To me, this is a picture of an "I must win" mentality. It makes all of life into an opponent to be mastered, a contest to win, a trophy to raise high which will prove our worth and success. It focuses on what Paul calls "confidence in the flesh"--what I can accomplish or do or be--and is what he came to call "rubbish" compared to the surpassing greatness of knowing Christ Jesus.

Coincidentally (NOT!), these concepts were reinforced in a book I just happened to randomly pick up at the library yesterday. It described how we often pit ourselves against others in our relationships (with God, spouse, children, friends) instead of placing ourselves next to them in unity or, heaven forbid, even putting ourselves under them in submission. The picture is a boxing ring, hands lifted in aggression and self-protection. Lest you think that too dramatic an image, let me share some of the behaviors these authors suggest indicate lack of gentleness and an "I must win" attitude. They call these "invalidations" and include anything that lessens the value of others. (Many of these are most visible in interactions with people, but I'm firmly convinced that we treat God the same way we treat people; we just fake ourselves out better with him.)

Here's a quick synopsis of some common invalidations in various categories:

Blatant slams
Rolling eyes, glaring, name-calling, sarcasm, uncomplimentary names, mocking intelligence or skills, criticizing, complaining.

Slamming by Association
Ridiculing the person's friends, family, occupation, gender. Belittling beliefs, projects, or creations. (Belittling a person is belittling God's creation!)

Unflattering comparisons
Drawing attention to the flaws or mistakes of others. Insulting by saying, "You're just like...." Always having a better idea.

Physical Aggression
Any use of physical power to intimidate or control another.

Negative Interpretations, Labels, and Expectations
Assuming the worst, using "You always" or "You never" in arguments, neglecting to notice or praise the positives (this applies especially to God), rehashing old mistakes and issues.

Withholding Self
Refusing to listen or hear, not reciprocating love and affection, rejecting sexual advances of a spouse, failing to verbally express pleasure in the other, isolating yourself physically or disconnecting emotionally, indifference. (I think this category is a biggie with relation to God.)

Quite a list, huh? Some of those sure hit home with me. Invalidations often stem from pride in both its forms: needing to be the winner or wallowing in being the loser. But in Christ, neither of those matters. In Christ we are fully loved, fully desired, fully beautiful. We don't need to prove anything or achieve anything or claw our way to the top or punish anyone for not cherishing us. We are his beloved--there's no need to fight; we can rest.

A couple of things that might help us stay in that place of rest are:

Confession: admitting to God the truth about ourselves, agreeing with him, agreeing with his Word

Adoration: verbally expressing appreciation and love to God

We honor God when we humble ourselves in his presence, put our hope fully in his Son, and let his Spirit fill us with all good things--including gentleness.